Checkered Flames

Burn the candle at both ends, avoiding the yearly comas

Untied loose ends, Living the moment till it's over

Seeking forever an answer,  judged and pressed down

Upon finding a place in our generation, I need a relation.

Standing on thin ice, all alone in isolation. 

 I have frights, knowing everything comes with a price

Life is taken it's toll , I'm rolling the dice.

Only to live in surveillance, desperate to get over the fence.

I'm running out of time, why am I so intense.

I am growing and changing,  forgetting I made it.

The game has changed, evolving till I'm lit. 

I look for the future with a re-imagined past

Start a new, love me forever for ever last. 

I'm questioning everything, ever so curious.

I knowing want  to know, ever so serious. 

I've become more bitter than I could ever dream

Yet it's hard to take it all serious in this delusional realm.

Less is less stress, more is more pain for me to guess.

Let me push to the test, again I rest my case. 

The world is above my feet, yet too blind believe it.

I need a push , a wake up call to really feel it. 

One Year

Sometimes I feel like a stranger. It is a sign I'm growing up later.

I wasn't sure how to live, I wasn't somebody that wanted to give.

But these changes have  occurred to me recently. There's been changes, many many changes. 

I feel all these changes, exchanging through the ages, as I was caged and raging. 

Now I finally realize, what you mean. Everything happens for a reason. 

I read your thoughts, I know what everyone is thinking. 

Double Standards

A dual complex, I won’t settle for less

Inside out, I’m a mind game compressed

Outside in, I’l portray you a deep ocean

A portrait of paranoia that’s always in motion

These things were never meant to thrive

How will I ever survive?

These things were never meant to last

Chasing each other into an endless vast

When does it start when does it end

Maybe I should just pretend

15 words per second, my mind is electric

5 beats per second, my heart is eccentric

Yet I can’t hear yours cause I’m in a drift

Drifting away from you cause that’s my gift

I could sell my soul to the devil

Cause my mind is alert and on that level

Zoning out onto distant Neptune.

Cold against my Gemini Moon. 

Envying

I was giving you everything I thought you deserved

With my trust and fairness I knew you couldn’t bare it

My boxed gifts were never meant for you or myself

They were meant for someone else.

But you kept asking for it, playing the same old childish game.

What do want from me? Just leave me be as the same.

See through my justified ways, you could not face the truth.       

Wanting something you thought you could never get from me, I'm still confused. 

My patience was too much for your needy greed.    

I wouldn’t share that with someone as selfish as you, indeed.

In the end I was the closed door, close-minded, blinded, just me.

In search for my muse, and no it wasn’t you.

All I ever asked was for the cherry blossoms from that tree.

And you wanted to cut it down let it fall on me.

To see me put down to the ground to satisfy your low self-esteem. 

In the end you always were the more fulfilled one but you still had the drive

To see an empty guy get broken and ruin his life.

All I ever wanted was a perfect symmetry,  but you tried to limit me.

                                                                  

Action Flux

I'll admit it and I won't lie, the rage that could get you on the front page has got to me recently,  like a jigsaw piece it completes me perfectly. People often misjudge me, but it runs in my blood intensively.

I'm restless, I'm energetically  desperate ,  compressed stress of emotional aggressiveness . I won't settle for less, I'm hesitant , blood rushing in an instant I'm negligent. 
Pumping my fist as if I'm pissed at modern lovably youth I find so hard to co-exist with. Collapse on one knee and slit a wrist? Well you get the rest of the gist.

  Pretending outside with a stuck-up face, running at a fucked-up pace like a citizen about to erase, my head  in the air zoning out I'm looking into far distant space,  daydreaming still I barely remember how to tie a shoe-lace.
It's the only place that would put me at ease and make feel at grace, feeling like I'm flying above the human race, when in reality I'm realizing I'm drowning into another angst phase.

Now I'm not gonna cut my own ear off and give it, I just like to live it like no one else did it,  I make the most of it within my free spirit like I'm with it.
 I was born to paint this plain bleak industry  like I'm on ecstasy , make it look bad n pretty instead of throwing another hissy but my patience is growing thinly. It doesn't make me a sissy, jee! look listen I just want to make life easy and express my artistry until I'm spinning dizzy.

I'm only young just out of my teens still with ripped-up spit-on split like-a-git I-just-jizzed on-cigarette-buds-stuck-on-my denim's jeans, can't keep too much in a glass bottle I rather spill the beans with the sauce and cause a scene as I'm lacking nicotine.I don't mean to be mean buts it's all I can be. 

But it's okay I know myself to be extra clean, I'm not a  mean war veteran killing machine even though I'll like too, I just get extra jumpy n pushy from drinking way to much energy drinks caffeine 

At least somehow I try, to show everyone in the world including I, the worlds worth it, it's not worth to die. It's worth living the real life especially when worlds collide, so take a fresh step outside with your eyes open wide, take some pride there's no need to hide. Are you blind? I'm still standing right there at your side.

5 W'S and a H

Who?

Where?

What?

Why?

When?

How?

Need to ask yourself these kind of questions if you wants to know what exactly you want to write about . Information is useful.